Attaboy, Kelly, good doggie. Have a biscuit.
AH, THE COMMENTERS: Commenter "AKTor" (and why the fuck doesn't the NP support direct links to comments?) slowly and lovingly eviscerates drooling suckup McParland:
Mr McParland writes, "She was late for her flight. She was in a rush. She was tired. She just wanted to get on the plane. But you're not allowed to do that in Canada."
Um, you're not allowed to "just get on the plane" in virtually every self-respecting airport in the world.
"Nope. Her bag was too big for carry-on."
And yet requiring that any luggage that literally WILL NOT FIT safely in the plane's passenger seating area be stored instead in the plane's cargo hold, where it will fit easily, somehow in your mind constitutes "mindless, soul-destroying bureaucracy" rather than, say, an entirely reasonable request based on elementary laws of physics.
"She had to stuff [her coat and boots] in a little bin so the could be X-rayed for nuclear explosives, wandering around the security area in winter in her stockings."
Oh my! In her stockings, you say? In winter!? For all of TEN or so seconds? WHILST INDOORS!? The horror...
What you consider "pointless government harassment"--passing through a metal detector, having your carry-on items x-rayed--most of your fellow members of society consider "reasonable precautions."
You also forgot to mention that Ms. Guergis reportedly dashed through the metal detector unbeckoned and without first removing the metal items on her possession, thus setting off the machine's security alarms, thus needlessly delaying her screening even further.
"She got a little lecture on being late...Because the whole world has nothing else to do but hang around the airport waiting to be patted down and have their boots examined."
No, because if the whole world showed up at the airport 15 minutes before their scheduled departure, as Ms. Guergis and her aide reportedly did, no flight would ever leave on time.
"Once she was cleared, she couldn't get through the glass door to the apron. The Air Canada representative wasn't there. Could anyone contact her? Of course not..."
The Air Canada representative wasn't manning the door because she had been summoned to find the tardy Ms Guergis and her aide. Who would be the one's who reportedly kicked, hit, and tried to force open said security door with their bare hands. That would be the door that separates the airport from the plane that was scheduled to have already left by then. And that would be the plane with its 40 or so passenger whose departure was delayed to order to accommodate your medal-deserving Ms. Guergis and her aide.
Then there's drooling buttwipe "MikeMurphy", who goes for the Ann Coulter defense:
All you lefties. Please look up the term SATIRE before you choke yourself or get tennis elbow from pounding your keys too hard in anger at neo-cons, cons, harper-cons, reformers, alliancers, tories, right wingers ad-Nausea-nerdeum. Did I miss any? :)
Here's how it works, Mike: If you have to explain to everyone that it was satire ... it wasn't.