Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Here, let me tighten that up for you, Justin.


Self-described loud, angry Jew and Blogging Tory Justin Hoffer:

"Oh, and I'm signing on with the Israeli military within the next two years. I'll send you all presents if you want them."

No, no, too pithy. Here, how about:

"Oh, and I'm signing on with the Israeli military within the next two years because, as the courageous Jewish stud that I am, I look forward to serving in a world-class military equipped with the nastiest weapons of mass slaughter ever devised and funded every year to tune of billions of dollars of American taxpayers' hard-earned money, in order that I might have the pleasure of wiping out countless poorly-armed, impoverished Palestinians, a lot of whom are no more than children throwing rocks."

OK, technically, that wasn't "tighter," but it was definitely more accurate.

AMUSINGLY, over at Red Tory's, Justin is slightly more forthcoming:

First, I’m going to get my Israeli citizenship next year. Shortly after that, I will be signing on with the Israeli military for three or four years before moving back to Canada.

Getting your Israeli citizenship, going to fight for another country, then ... coming back to Canada? Geez, Justin, that seems to be what the derogatory label "Canadian of Convenience" was pretty much invented for, wouldn't you say? I wouldn't be mentioning any of this plan to your Blogging Tory colleagues, Justin ... we already know what they think of dual citizens.

15 comments:

Justin Hoffer said...

Interesting argument... Because Palestinians still exist, despite the fact that Israel has the military capability to wipe them from the face of the Earth at any moment, and no one would be able to stop them, Israel must be committing genocide.

Very interesting...

So I guess you don't want any presents, then?

Justin Hoffer said...

Also rather difficult to argue that Israel is equipped by American taxpayers when total aid to Israel comprises a whopping 1.5% of Israel's GDP.

Balbulican said...

"Going to join the Israeli military within the next two years."

Uh huh.

CC said...

So your logic, Justin, is that Israel cannot possibly be accused of genocide because there are still Palestinians left? Is that your working definition of "genocide," Justin? As a Jew, are you sure that's a road you want to go down? I'm just asking.

Justin Hoffer said...

Let me see... in a matter of a few years, the population of Jewish Europeans dropped by 6 million, a total reduction in world population of Jews by approximately one third. On the other hand, Palestinian population has increased steadily and rapidly since Jewish immigration to the Holy Land began.

Now, a genocide is the systematic killing of a racial or cultural group. If the Israelis were systematically killing Palestinians, why has the Palestinian population increased over the years, seeing no major decreases?

Hitler would have exterminated all the Jews in Europe, if he'd had the chance. Yet, after, what is it now, over 70 years, the Israelis haven't managed to exterminate a group that is concentrated in two small areas?

Are the Israelis incompetent, then? Was Hitler so much smarter than the Israelis, that he could almost destroy an entire people within a continent in only a few years, while the Israelis can't destroy a people who live within a space of only a few thousand square miles over 70 years?

I wait your answer.

Justin Hoffer said...

Oh, and since you don't understand what a "Canadian of Convenience" is, I'll attempt to explain it to you.

A Canadian of Convenience is someone who holds citizenship with Canada, lives in a potentially or actively dangerous part of the world, and then uses than citizenship to escape back to Canada.

I am going to serve in the IDF so that I can spend time in my homeland. I feel a connection to Israel because of my ancestry and religion, and a connection to Canada because it is my place of birth. However, if it were to come between my homeland and Canada, I would choose Canada, because that is where my ultimate loyalties lie. I will not be coming back to Canada seeking shelter. I am going to Israel to do my duty to the Jewish people, something I cannot do in Canada. Canada and Israel are allies, not enemies, which is a major reason why having dual citizenship with them is not being a Canadian of Convenience. We do not call people with dual American-Canadian citizenship Canadians of Convenience, nor people with British-Canadian citizenship. Only people who get a Canadian citizenship and then abuse to get out of harms way.

I'm not seeking to get out of harms way. I'm seeking to go where I think I have the best chance of fighting Iran.

Dr.Dawg said...

I'm seeking to go where I think I have the best chance of fighting Iran.

So the invasion plans are a go, then?

No presents, please. I don't know what I'd do with those ears.

Justin Hoffer said...

I don't know what you would do with a Persian's ears, either, but I'd use them to make a decoration.

Dr.Dawg said...

I'm sure you would.

David said...

Justin, as the Dread Pirate Roberts said, "Truly you have a dizzying intellect."

KEvron said...

"I'll send you all presents if you want them."

something wet?

KEvron

KEvron said...

"I'm seeking to go where I think I have the best chance of fighting Iran."

go, iran!

KEvron

Metro said...

The dissonance is thunderous:
A Canadian of Convenience is someone who holds citizenship with Canada, lives in a potentially or actively dangerous part of the world ...

So, for exaaaaample, someone who actively seeks out membership in the military of a nation he clearly considers threatened, in order to serve three or four years and get out?

And will you be returning to Canada, Mr. Hoffer?

Cameron Campbell said...

http://www.worldpolicy.org/projects/arms/reports/israel.lebanon.FINAL2.pdf

Gene Rayburn said...

"And will you be returning to Canada, Mr. Hoffer?"

hopefully never.