And in the spirit of mocking Easter mercilessly, we bring you the adventures of Noah, who was instructed to ... hang on, what was he instructed to do? (All emphasis tail-waggingly added.)
Genesis 6:19-20: "And of every living thing of all flesh you shall bring two of every sort into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. Of the birds after their kind, of animals after their kind, and of every creeping thing of the earth after its kind, two of every kind will come to you to keep them alive."
Sorry, Lord, I didn't catch that ... come again:
Genesis 7:2-3: "You shall take with you seven each of every clean animal, a male and his female; two each of animals that are unclean, a male and his female; also seven each of birds of the air, male and female, to keep the species alive on the face of all the earth."
You know, if I was going to devote my life to a particular religion, I think I'd go for one whose Omniscient Deity could tell the difference between two and seven. I'm kind of picky that way.