Sandy Crux: The perfect storm of stupid.

Yes, yes, we've all been pretty much pissing ourselves over the hilarious antics of one Sandy Crux, who managed to make such a total twatwaffle of herself that we here at CC HQ managed to forget all about the douchebagitude of the Blogging Tories in general for, oh, minutes.

But it's really worth revisiting that little episode to see how it represents, in its own little microcosm, the perfect storm of right-wing cluelessness, humourlessness, stupidity and douchebaggery, all rolled up into the perfect, Sandy-flavoured package. So, without further ado ...

We can, of course, start with the eye-rolling cluelessness, as Sandy managed to read Danielle's entire piece without having even the vaguest inkling that it was written as humour. As satire. It really takes a special kind of dumbassery to miss the screamingly obvious signals, but let us not stop here as the cluelessness is only the beginning and we're just getting started.

Once someone patiently explained to Sandy how she had made such a complete ass of herself, we then lurched painfully from cluelessness into humourlessness:

Well, I for one do NOT find it funny!

And here's where the fun truly begins since, as regular CC HQ commenter Ti-Guy has pointed out on more than one occasion, if there's one thing that defines today's conservatives, it is a complete, total and utter lack of a sense of humour. Quite simply, today's whingers are cripplingly unfunny at, well, everything.

One can peruse the Left-o-sphere to find hilarious sites such as TBogg, The Poor Man, Andy Borowitz and a host of others. But when it comes to the citizens of Wankerville, well, really, there's no way I'm going to be able to top this. We have Mark Fiore and "Doonesbury"; they have "Mallard Fillmore" and "Day by Day." And lest you think I exaggerate, one can only recall (in nad-shrivelling horror) the debacle that was "The America Show", whose episodes seem to have been mercifully pulled from YouTube but whose memory remains:



In short, Sandy, dear: "Conservative" == "Not funny." At which point, we move on to the next weapon in the right-wing, douchebag's arsenal:

Since I did not receive any e-mail from Stephen Taylor today or anyone on that list, this is getting close to defamation.

Memo to Ms. Takacs: This is notice to tell you to remove Crux of the Matter immediately from your supposed e-mail and your post.

Ah, yes, the litigiousness, the glorious litigiousness, during which the wanker seems to believe that the solution to being mocked and ridiculed in public (and, for that matter, every problem imaginable) is to threaten to sue. 'Cuz that's what they do. (Bonus wank points to Sandy for threatening legal action, not for defamation, but for something that is "close" to defamation.)

And that's when the wankery truly kicks in, as Sandy finally resorts to the wanker's favourite defensive strategy -- deleting the post. Because, as we all know, when you've humiliated yourself in public, the most effective response is to remove the offending prose, which will in no way guarantee that people will end up laughing at you even harder, then scouring Google cache for the evidence.

And yet, as hard as it might be to believe, we're not done here as Sandy finally gives us the perfect storm of right-wing douchebagitude by -- God help us all -- restoring the post, as if to somehow cancel the earlier, whiny dumbfuckitude. And the circle of Sandy Crux wankitude is complete.

Did I miss anything?

P.S. Did you know that Sandy Crux has a doctorate? No, seriously, she has a doctorate. In education. Really. Feel free to be totally creeped out by that.