Friday, January 02, 2009

Hang on, Rod, let me fix that up for you.


Conservative MP and current Exalted Grand Wizard of the Ultra-super-duper, totally top secret Parliamentary Pro-Life Caucus (or "NAMBLA") Rod Bruinooge is all about the fetuses:

In Canada in 2008, our citizens have no legal value while in the wombs of their mothers.

No, no, no, that doesn't read quite right. Here, let me help:

In Canada in 2008, our citizens have no legal value while in the wombs of their mothers being brown and incarcerated in other countries.

Yeah, that reads so much better, wouldn't you say?

NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT
, I'm fascinated by the citizenship implications of Bruinooge's "logic." Is Bruinooge suggesting that fetuses are technically "citizens?" Because if he is, things get really, really interesting.

It's generally accepted that anyone born in Canada is a Canadian "citizen." But if Bruinooge wants to extend "citizenship" to fetuses, that would suggest that anyone who is conceived in Canada is, by logical extension, also a citizen. And wouldn't that make illegal immigration and deportation so much more amusing, as anyone caught illegally in Canada and facing deportation would simply have to, on short notice, get knocked up while still on Canadian soil, at which point -- nine months later -- they would merely have to establish a timeline to retroactively claim Canadian citizenship for the newborn.

Come on, Rod, tell me that's what you're suggesting -- tell me you actually want to grant the status of citizenship at the moment of conception. The legal implications would be just too much fun for words.

5 comments:

The Skinny said...

"Most Canadians would agree that you should not be able to remove your kidney and sell it on eBay to the highest bidder. Although it's your body and your kidney, this would not only be a poor bioethical choice, but it is in fact illegal under our laws."

Hot dam removing and selling fetuses on ebay is legal too?

All this time and we coulda paid our mortgage off???

Sheena said...

Does that mean I can send my ovaries to wait in line at the DMV for me?

Matt Carter said...

I wish there were more people in this world that would search out the implications of their words before opening their mouth.

Beijing York said...

Sounds like a great "make work" project. Imagine all the bureaucrats required to determine whether the citizen was actually conceived in Canada or at a Sandals all-inclusive resort. Would they need to document the conception with video footage or a photograph (with time stamp and local newspaper in the frame)?

I called Bruinooge an idiot before but now I want to upgrade to moron.

liberal supporter said...

Imagine all the bureaucrats required

They could hire all those people from the Ceaucescu regime in Romania who had the job of visiting workplaces and performing gynecological exams on all women of childbearing age so they could be tracked if discovered to be pregnant.