Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Fly on the wall: The Joe Lieberman Chronicles.

"So here's how it's going to work, Joe. Even after you bad-mouthed Barack and campaigned openly for his opponent and, well, pretty much lied and were a total fucking asswipe, we're going to keep you in the Democratic caucus and even let you stay on as chairman on your committee."

"Really? Seriously? Wow, that's ... that's ... generous. I don't know what to say."

"There will be a couple conditions, of course. First, you won't be allowed to go on any political talk shows. None. Nada. Zero. Zilch. We'll decide what you say and when you get to say it. Is that clear?"

"Um ... that's kind of harsh, I don't know if that's fa ..."

"And, secondly, if you get uppity and do anything to obstruct us or annoy us, we'll have you taken out and killed."

"I'm sorry ... what?"

"You heard us -- we will have you killed. Dead. Stone fucking cold dead. Face down in a gutter somewhere. Seriously, Joe, you have no idea how many favours we called in to keep you here, but the price is that you behave. Utterly. Totally. Without a single goddamned complaint. And the instant you get out of line, you're a dead man. And, no, we're not talking politically or metaphorically. I mean fucking snuffed, bullet to the brain dead. The only value you have for us is a Senate vote, and if you can't deliver that every fucking time, we'll kill you and worry about replacing you later. Do we understand each other?"

"Well, I ..."

"We'll take that as a 'yes.' Now fuck off. And we'll be watching you. Thanks for coming."


Robin said...

Ahhhh...we live in hope?

thwap said...

"Hope" for "Change." "Yes we can."

Ti-Guy said...

I honestly cannot imagine any timorous Democrat ever saying anything remotely like that. The Dems know they're under constant surveillance and are petrified of anything being leaked to the media.

That was the strength of the Republicans. They didn't care. They said those types of things up front and counted on a network of popular support, think tanks and friendly media to rationalise whatever outrageous thing they said or did until it dropped out of public discussion.

Cameron Campbell said...

ti-guy, but you're forgetting: Chicago Democrats now run the joint.

Dumoustier said...

What Cameron said. And thanks, CC, for this little breath of fresh air. I've been reading the comments at Digby's place the last couple of days, and except for a few cooler heads like Cameron's and yours, the frothing rage and all but full-blown panic is a wonder to behold.

I've tried to pour oil on the waters a couple of times, but the chorus is in full throat and doesn't want to listen.

One thing I haven't said down there is this: has no one realized that the Patriot Act, the new(er) FISA bill, the powers of Bush's near-unitary executive, Cheney's "Fourth Branch" filching of power from every other part of the government, and all the subversive structures he and Rove built over the last eight years, aren't going to magically disappear on January 20th? They will all be available to the new President, should he decide to use them, and assuming he can put trustworthy people in charge of them.

Nothing says he will use them; he's closing Gitmo, after all, and if I remember right intends to repeal the Military Commissions Act. But nothing says he can't, either. And nothing says he can't let the likes of Lieberman think he'd be perfectly willing to extraordinarily rendition him to an undisclosed location if he so much as puts one toenail outside the pentacle Obama has drawn around him.

Chicago, all right.

Cameron Campbell said...

Dumoustier, don't get me wrong, in this construct I'd be praying that he screws up. Joe is a total prick, but sometimes expediency has to take a front seat.