Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Fly on the wall: The Joe Lieberman Chronicles.
"So here's how it's going to work, Joe. Even after you bad-mouthed Barack and campaigned openly for his opponent and, well, pretty much lied and were a total fucking asswipe, we're going to keep you in the Democratic caucus and even let you stay on as chairman on your committee."
"Really? Seriously? Wow, that's ... that's ... generous. I don't know what to say."
"There will be a couple conditions, of course. First, you won't be allowed to go on any political talk shows. None. Nada. Zero. Zilch. We'll decide what you say and when you get to say it. Is that clear?"
"Um ... that's kind of harsh, I don't know if that's fa ..."
"And, secondly, if you get uppity and do anything to obstruct us or annoy us, we'll have you taken out and killed."
"I'm sorry ... what?"
"You heard us -- we will have you killed. Dead. Stone fucking cold dead. Face down in a gutter somewhere. Seriously, Joe, you have no idea how many favours we called in to keep you here, but the price is that you behave. Utterly. Totally. Without a single goddamned complaint. And the instant you get out of line, you're a dead man. And, no, we're not talking politically or metaphorically. I mean fucking snuffed, bullet to the brain dead. The only value you have for us is a Senate vote, and if you can't deliver that every fucking time, we'll kill you and worry about replacing you later. Do we understand each other?"
"Well, I ..."
"We'll take that as a 'yes.' Now fuck off. And we'll be watching you. Thanks for coming."