Canada's back! Damn right, we are so back! Let me tell you just how back we are:
Harper echoed Jean's sentiments and stressed the importance of Canada's role on the international stage.
"The news is spreading throughout the world: Canada's back," Harper told the crowd of about 35,000 on Parliament Hill in Ottawa on Sunday.
"Canada's back as a vital player on the global stage ... Canadians are citizens of the world and we're making a positive contribution in every field of human endeavour."
"Fuckin' A!", continued Harper, whipping out his dick and slamming it down on the podium. "Match that! You wanna match that? Go ahead, that's what you call some serious Conservative Party of Canada wang right there! Damn straight, don't you be messing with the Big Dick!"
Explosive new documents suggest Canada was aware of the harsh treatment that Canadian terror suspect Omar Khadr was being subjected to in Guantanamo Bay at the hands of U.S. military interrogators.
But Prime Minister Stephen Harper, speaking Thursday in Tokyo, Japan following this week's G8 meetings, said Canada had little say in the situation and has no intention of interfering...
Harper added that Canada: "frankly, has no real alternative'' to the U.S. legal process.
That sound you just heard was Stephen Harper's massive, he-man Conservative wang shrivelling up and retreating back into a body cavity, whimpering in fear the whole way. We here at CC HQ will keep you posted on its possible reappearance.