CP quotes Mr Tough Guy's vision statement in all of its nebulous glory.
"The newest thing about this announcement is that it is a long-term plan," Harper said, suggesting that previous planning for the military suffered form a last-minute, piecemeal approach.
"We are establishing a 20-year plan with an escalating budget framework."
And since Steve and Weepy had blessed few details or actual information about this strategy to share it really came down to some empty boasting and an attempt to distract from yet another Conservative scandal in the works. Dirty Max Bernier has been the tabloid Con of the week as his involvement with biker molls and alleged international money laundering, weapons criminals has caused many to ask, how the fuck do these idiots pretend to hold the moral high ground? When Ministers of the Crown haven't the discretion to vet speakers at party fundraisers and take to bedding gals with known criminal associates one has to wonder. Blunder after stumble the veneer gets stripped away. The awful truth of it is that the Conservative Party of Canada is no better than the Liberals they've replaced in power. The greed, sneaking, cheating and scandal is the same only the names have been changed.
So, feeling the heat, Steve and Weepy needed a ruse, some gambit they hoped would appease the slavering dimwits that form their base and nothing says happy goobers like using the military as a prop.
One of the reservists recruited to listen to Harper's speech said she believes the prime minister's promises, but wishes the new equipment would come more quickly.
Sgt. Joanne Henneberry noted that a nearby truck used to transport troops was over two decades old.
"It doesn't change anything. Twenty years? Who's to say if I'll be around in 10 years from now," she said.
"We're hearing about aircraft and ships. What about the equipment we use when we do our training?"
Poor Steve. Even the people he is using as a backdrop to his own ego stroke are dubious about the announcement. And what about this grand strategy? More bubbles in the bathwater.
Most of the plans have been announced before and there were few new details offered Monday on the timing or costs. There was also no mention that some of the replacement equipment has already been delayed.
The replacement of the Buffalo fixed-wing search-and-rescue aircraft, for example, has already been put off until 2014 - at the earliest. The 40-year-old planes were supposed to be replaced five years ago.
They are the law and order party, getting their offices raided under suspicion of election advertising cheating. They are the morality and family party, shagging biker chicks and hanging with crooks. They are the transparency and accountability party, micromanaging every message, at war with the national press and firing bureaucrats for refusing to tout their slogans. They are the full of shit party, playing fast and loose every step of the way. My one wish, Stockwell Day, one more rubber outfit and a dildo. Come on Doris you know you want to.
In 2006, the Conservatives called for expanding the Canadian Forces by adding 70,000 regular members and 30,000 reservists over a five-year period.
Harper repeated the pledge Monday - but he did not mention a deadline.
A Defence Department performance report, released last November, concluded the government had not allotted enough money to meet the target set in 2006.
Given the commitments being made in Afghanistan and the rapid attrition rate in the military, the expansion was "re-profiled" to 68,000 regulars and 26,000 reservists by 2011-2012, the report said.
Senator Colin Kenny, Liberal chairman of the Senate's defence committee, said it remains unclear whether the Tories can meet their recruitment goals.
"What's confusing or disheartening about it is these guys seem to be shooting all over the place," said Kenny.
"There's three sets of numbers the government has gone through in a two-year period of time and this is for a strategy that was promised to us two years ago."
The Conservatives have said they are the party that rebuilt Canada's defences, but the Opposition Liberals argue the Tories must spend a lot more than $30 billion over 20 years to get the military back in shape.
The Senate defence committee, for example, has said the country's annual defence budget should be increased to $35 billion from about $18 billion by 2011-2012.
During Monday's news conference, Harper said his government has committed annual spending to $30 billion by 2028.
In which Steve Harper does his best imitation of Wimpy from the Popeye cartoons and will gladly pay you Thursday for something that will look shiny today. And all of this nonsense really boils down to one thing. The flabby loser that can't throw or catch is desperate to appear tough and capable... as long as it is someone else that actually gets put in harms way.
"If a country wants to be taken seriously in the world, it must have the capacity to act - it's just that simple," he said, a massive Canadian flag hanging behind him.
"Otherwise you forfeit your right to be a player. You're the one chattering on the sidelines, that everybody smiles at but nobody listens to."
Oh for fuck sakes. Steve you big, soft goof. Get the hell over yourself. You're a wimp. Everyone knows it and there's no shame in it. Lots of physically inept people go on to lead happy productive lives. Canada has enjoyed the respect and admiration of much of the world not because we are bristling with firepower but because of our national character. When the chips are down, we step up. We always have and there's no likelihood that will change any time soon. You have some fucked up idea of what a player is and you are wrong. Canada has always been a player because we can be counted on in a tough fight, we can be relied on when there is danger and we have held our heads high and behaved with honour. We will never be the biggest and the baddest and that is a vain and foolish aspiration to hold. What we are is a fundamentally decent bunch. We help when we can and where we are needed because it is the right thing to do and if you think that isn't recognized around the world, you are a fool. But we already knew that didn't we Steve? How's about you give Weepy a cookie, put him to bed and quit pretending weapons equal respect.