Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Frank’s back blogging at the latest and greatest version of Mesopotamia West and he’s all over the gross distortions in crime rate statistics. According to Frank, you’re not nearly as safe as those so-called experts say you are ... so watch your back.

I eagerly await further hilarious shenanigans.


Southern Quebec said...

Frank is great! Let's put a warning label on our guns. It's worked on the cigarette packages, right... Oh, and Frank, that's not a knife....THIS is a knife! (great moments in theatre.)

b_nichol said...

"How to Measure Crime"
No, it's not the statistics, stupid, it's the "12 obvious signs I grew up in a middle-income Downsview suburb where we respected our elders" list.
Now, get off my lawn and pull your pants up.
So if graffiti leads to Muslim riots in Paris... oh, hell, I got nothin', this is just too inane to even comprehend.
And turn your hat around. In my day, if we wore our hats...

Red Tory said...

It would be amusing to see the BTs make sense of things if Grampa Frank wound up viciously stabbed to death with butter knife by an unhinged, sexually-exploited, 18 year-old Muslim “baby”…

Gosh! Where to start?

Is this all the pathetic cadre of BT bloggers do all day… obsess about crime, guns, terror, and sex? And doesn’t the anonymous coward “Neo” already have dibs on that particular corner of surreal-estate in Winguttia?

Ti-Guy said...

Is this all the pathetic cadre of BT bloggers do all day… obsess about crime, guns, terror, and sex?

Well, something someone else is doing has to explain one's own misery and anxiety or the less-than-perfect reality of the world, doesn't it? Surely it can't be anything one has control over oneself, especially when one has spent one's whole, long life, behaving so perfectly.

Ti-Guy said...

By the way, why do Conservatives always forget that the murder rate is higher in rural areas and Western Canada? Why is Toronto always the focus of their panic?

LuLu said...

Why is Toronto always the focus of their panic?

Because it's full of teh scary brown people?

pretty shaved ape said...

well, i couldn't resist. i often feel that the best antidote to lunacy is surrealism. hence, i left the following in frnak's comments:

"as to your citation of violent crime stats from the 20s, it can safely be assumed that since canada is a very large country and that the population was far smaller in the 20s, citizens were simply spaced further apart. with the greater distance between individuals, there was far less likelihood that they would become sufficiently angry with one another to incite violence.

in more extreme instances where violence occurred and escalated to the use of firearms, the greater distance between individuals would certainly have made it more difficult to inflict harm, since one's shot would be more likely to miss the mark over such a distance. in the cities, women were more likely to be indoors and as we know, the parading of womenfolk leads to much violence while in rural areas there was the fear of bears to contend with.

also, stores and businesses weren't open on sundays. that allowed good christian men to get proper rest and eat roasted chickens with their families. this would have had a calming effect. "

LuLu said...

in the cities, women were more likely to be indoors and as we know, the parading of womenfolk leads to much violence while in rural areas there was the fear of bears to contend with.

It's always the woman's fault ... and if not, then it's definitely the bear's. Teh Funnee, PSA.

liberal supporter said...

No, it's always the fault of the bare women.

Anonymous said...

Delurking, once again to wax poetic - yeah. Anyway, thirty years ago, my husband (very brief duration) was sent to New Orleans for a business meeting, the crown of which was a cocktail party in the Astro, or Super or whatever DOME - you are probably aware of the place because of Katrina. I think Barbara Bush ensured it would be remembered by her comments.
Anyways, I was along for the ride, and wanted to enjoy myself, wandering about so I asked at the information desk for a map, and information about the French quarter etc. I was told (lectured) that I could not possibly wander about on my own - I was a white woman and there were roaming gangs of blacks just waiting to find unprotected people, especially wimmen - know what they do to wimmen right?
The next morning I went out into the city and encountered one roaming gang of black, a jogger using the whateverdome for his morning ritual. He advised me about the French quarter - no safer place in New Orleans becasue there were two man foot patrols on every street. He also told me the places to see and gave me information about the transit system so I could get about.
Danger is about us every day, however, if one gives into that mentality, one becomes unable to experience the joy of meeting new people, of learning. I went on the streetcars of New Orleans, I talked with the nannies (all black) of the children they were taking to school, I walked through cemetaries, I walked through the French quarter - alone. I was introduced to the concept of he-shes by a cabbie, I marveled at the number of clubs that I would never frequent, and noticed that the lionshare of them were of the white middle age variety. I walked alone, a white woman, and never once was I in fear.
Honestly, Fear is the big deal. I have nothing to gain or lose in this latest political game, however I notice in all the articles you link, fear is the biggest thing. Get everyone to fear - if we don't vote a certain way, if we let immigrants in, if we let the aboriginals finally get a fair shake....fear.
Are white people in Canada that spineless? If so, I have a Great (to the fifth power) who is spanish, and is probably an arabic mix - and I suspect that most Canadians have a few "scary brown people" in their family tree, if they cared to look.
Geez, are we that spineless?

KEvron said...

"Honestly, Fear is the big deal."

it's the opposite of Love.


Red Tory said...

HT — No, not all of us are terrorized sissy-pants like the Bedwetting Tories®.