Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The CC "Canadian D**bf**k Wanker Challenge."
It has come to my attention that a number of Canada's right-wing dumbshits are all a-twitter that some of us over here in Progresso-ville can be -- how shall I put this? -- intemperate on occasion. Oh, let's not mince words -- they're running around, clutching their pearls and whining on endlessly about those vile, vulgar, profane leftards and so on. You know, like this complete drop case. (And this total putz, too.) Like I give a shit. But all this vapourous bleating has given me an idea.
Self, I says (because that's what I call myself when I'm talking to myself), I'm going to address all that tedious complaining as follows, and I'm going to challenge the rest of the Canadian Left-o-sphere to follow suit. For one day -- Monday, March 31 -- I challenge every single member of Canada's progressive blogging community to be polite.
That's right -- from midnight to midnight, over the course of Monday, March 31, I'm defying every single left-wing blogger in Canada to be nice. Be genteel. Be suave and urbane, and refrain from calling anyone a numbskull, retard, imbecile, cementhead, stupid cunt or dumbass motherfucker, even when they clearly deserve it, just to prove that, yes, we can play nice when we feel like it. I don't think it'll be that hard. 24 hours? I've gone longer than that without a beer so I'm pretty sure my willpower is up to it. (And, yes, playing nice includes comments as well. No getting around this on a technicality.)
You know it's coming, don't you? Yes, you do.
And now for the other half of this, in which I similarly challenge the entirety of Canada's right-wing blogging community, for that same 24-hour stretch, to blog ... honestly.
That's right, wanks. I'm tossing down the gauntlet and defying you people to get through a single day without exaggerating, distorting, dissembling, fabricating, omitting, quoting out of context, misinterpreting, misrepresenting or just outright lying your faces off. And, frankly, I don't think you have it in you.
I'm fairly confident that we lefties can play nice for 24 hours, but I doubt you'd be able to hold up your end of the challenge. Quite simply, I think you've been lying for so long that you don't know how to stop. But, hey, feel free to prove me wrong.
So there it is. Lefties? Are you up for this? I'm in, and I'm going to make sure my normally acerbic co-pilots are as well. And at the end of that 24 hours, we can take a look over the fence and see how the other half did. And I'm guessing it's going to be enlightening.
How about it, folks? Are you in?