Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The CC "Canadian D**bf**k Wanker Challenge."


It has come to my attention that a number of Canada's right-wing dumbshits are all a-twitter that some of us over here in Progresso-ville can be -- how shall I put this? -- intemperate on occasion. Oh, let's not mince words -- they're running around, clutching their pearls and whining on endlessly about those vile, vulgar, profane leftards and so on. You know, like this complete drop case. (And this total putz, too.) Like I give a shit. But all this vapourous bleating has given me an idea.

Self, I says (because that's what I call myself when I'm talking to myself), I'm going to address all that tedious complaining as follows, and I'm going to challenge the rest of the Canadian Left-o-sphere to follow suit. For one day -- Monday, March 31 -- I challenge every single member of Canada's progressive blogging community to be polite.

That's right -- from midnight to midnight, over the course of Monday, March 31, I'm defying every single left-wing blogger in Canada to be nice. Be genteel. Be suave and urbane, and refrain from calling anyone a numbskull, retard, imbecile, cementhead, stupid cunt or dumbass motherfucker, even when they clearly deserve it, just to prove that, yes, we can play nice when we feel like it. I don't think it'll be that hard. 24 hours? I've gone longer than that without a beer so I'm pretty sure my willpower is up to it. (And, yes, playing nice includes comments as well. No getting around this on a technicality.)

Pause.

You know it's coming, don't you? Yes, you do.

And now for the other half of this, in which I similarly challenge the entirety of Canada's right-wing blogging community, for that same 24-hour stretch, to blog ... honestly.

That's right, wanks. I'm tossing down the gauntlet and defying you people to get through a single day without exaggerating, distorting, dissembling, fabricating, omitting, quoting out of context, misinterpreting, misrepresenting or just outright lying your faces off. And, frankly, I don't think you have it in you.

I'm fairly confident that we lefties can play nice for 24 hours, but I doubt you'd be able to hold up your end of the challenge. Quite simply, I think you've been lying for so long that you don't know how to stop. But, hey, feel free to prove me wrong.

So there it is. Lefties? Are you up for this? I'm in, and I'm going to make sure my normally acerbic co-pilots are as well. And at the end of that 24 hours, we can take a look over the fence and see how the other half did. And I'm guessing it's going to be enlightening.

How about it, folks? Are you in?

31 comments:

pretty shaved ape said...

acerbic? moi...

aw fuck, no fuckin' prob. i can do that polite shit. it'll be fuckin' easy, even with all the cock noggins on the right trying to piss on our shoes. as for our, um, esteemed counterparts and honesty... well, come on now. we've seen that in action: A = B, pay up. thing is, given enough cerebral damage and a self generated reality, they actually think the nonsense they spout is true because they a) want it to be, b) have convinced themselves of it and c) delusion. even after being called on their dishonesty they will cling to it and defy logic, sense and evidence. but what the fuck, i'll play along.

Ti-Guy said...

get through a single day without exaggerating, distorting, dissembling, fabricating, omitting, quoting out of context, misinterpreting, misrepresenting or just outright lying your faces off.

Good luck. They don't even know what those things are.

Paladiea said...

"They can do no wrong, for they do not know what it is." ;)

LuLu said...

I don't think I'm acerbic so much as I'm biting.

Does this mean we can swear all we want the day before? 'Cause, while I have no doubt the three of us are more than up to the challenge, I'm a little concerned about potential exploding heads.

You know from keeping all the potty-mouthedness to ourselves for extended periods of time ...

greeneggsandtam said...

The "go-fuck-yourself-if-you-don't-like-it " attitude is one of the reasons I read your stuff.

I just can't go to that horrid little shrew's site anymore. The comments are frightening. I can just picture a couple of them typing in between peering through binoculars sizing some lady up for a skin suit.
Anyways good challenge.

Antonia Z said...

As a blogger for Torstar Corp., I am forced to be genteel. Sadly. It means I have a lot less fun than you %&*(^&& do.

KEvron said...

and when have i ever not been polite?!

heh. while the fast is on, may we still refer to it as "the canadian dumbfuck wanker challenge"?

KEvron

Frank Frink said...

I might have to go sit next to Dorothy Parker.

Red Tory said...

Can we still refer to someone as a "puss-filled termagant" for example, and qualify as "genteel"? Because I can be quite nice in that sort of way...

Chimera said...

Heh. I'm neither left nor right. Does that mean I get to referee?

liberal supporter said...

Oh, for the days when you could thoroughly diss someone simply by calling them by their last name with no honourific.

zzzerbi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LuLu said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cameron Campbell said...

"zzzerbi, be a good little mouthbreathing sockpuppet and fuck off, hmmmm? "

hahahahhaha....

I really don't understand a couple of things about all of this:
1) When exactly did the right get to the point that they are a pack of 19 century spinster school marms? People swear. Deal.
2) How is it that not using profanity, but calling for the death (real or metaphorically) of your political opponents, is not rude? I can't begin to count the number of times I've seen that from our happy (but polite) friends from the right...

E in MD said...

I'm polite to people who are polite to me and have shown that they deserve my respect.

Thus far I've yet to find anyone in these right wing blogs that is remotely deserving of anything other than my complete contempt and scorn.

KEvron said...

"When exactly did the right get to the point that they are a pack of 19 century spinster school marms?"

they aren't, they just pretend to be so on the internets.... when they aren't spewing obscenities while undercover of a sockpuppet, that is....

KEvron

mikmik said...

Top shelf old man. That is an absolutely admirable undertaking. Including the conservative side of the blogosphere in a challenge -well, that's a jolly good sport then!


What?!?!? I'm in fuckin' training, FFS!




(lulu said, "I don't think I'm acerbic so much as I'm biting."
And boot-stompingly to the point PS I like your name)

liberal supporter said...

Hey zzzerbi, are you the moron a couple threads down fellating Catherine with "She kicks their asses day in and out with numbers of comments, variety of commentators, and numbers of visits a day."?

How many "visits" is Catherine claiming these days? Last I heard it was supposedly 4 million page views a year. Are any of them paid for? You know, like paid circulation? Is her Adsense paying off?


Meanwhile, over here, we have antonia. A commenter, just a commenter here, but who is part of an organization that gets 4 million page views a day. Real printed pages. And these are paid for pages!

That impresses me a lot more than a bunch of bots humping Catherine's little cesspool.

CC said...

zzzerbi:

Fuck off. Really.

David said...

I'm in! I could use a day not spent on misdirected rage. And this will give me a chance to post all those kitten pictures I have stored on my aging desktop.

David said...

Ageing, I meant ageing. Stupid fingers. And brain.

Dave said...

Why?

David said...

My spelling preferences.

Dave said...

No, no, David, I wasn't commenting about you.

Mine is a holistic question.

This is what I just read by Suzy All Caps on another blog:

Conservatives are in favour of the state enforcing natural rights. They don’t get that.

Why would I be civil to a piece of human waste who's goal is to have the government tell me how to fuck? Of course we get it. Suzy Shitlips wants a Catholic version of Sharia law imposed on the entire population through legislation.

No reason to be civil to something like that.

So, my question is, "Why"?

Frank Frink said...

I hear you, Dave.

I can't do it, hence my Dorothy Parker reference, but I'm not posting much these days anyway so I may just take a pass. But the moment it's past midnight it's 'Dear Wingnuts: Kiss My Ass'.

OTOH, if I do decide to make frankfrink.blogspot an active blog at/by March 31 I'll be posting as a non-affiliated, non-aggregator blogger (The Grocuho Marx principal of 'clubs').

(and btw - not only 'how' to fuck but 'when' to fuck, and 'with' whom). Bastards!

jj said...

Dave - "Conservatives are in favour of the state enforcing natural rights"??? LOL, she said that? Why, bless her authoritarian little heart.

Ti-Guy said...

No kidding. And she's the one who gets to define "natural rights."

How come she missed the part of Catholicism that tells you "there is no virtue without temptation?" Whatever she understands about sin, it's not a sign of moral rectitude when you do not sin because it is virtually impossible to commit the sin.

What kind of primitive superstition is she indulging in?

Pale said...

I have a natural right to breathe clean air and drink water that won't kill me, and natural right not to catch on fire simply by setting foot outside too.
Doubt they will be defending that anytime soon.

the rev. paperboy said...

all right, i know the day has begun already and I've gone back and forth on this all week. I agree with Dave - why should we be civil to evil chowderheads? - but at the same time I'd love to see them try to live up to their side of the challenge (I doubt it will happen). So count me in.

Jason said...

Wow. What a completely meaningless endeavor, CC. How fitting. I'm sure once the 24 hours is up, you've got a vulgarity-laden post all queued up to make up for the faux politeness. Careful you don't burst a blood vessel, though. Keeping your seething anger bottled up can do that.

Jason said...

I'm tossing down the gauntlet and defying you people to get through a single day without exaggerating, distorting, dissembling, fabricating, omitting, quoting out of context, misinterpreting, misrepresenting or just outright lying your faces off. And, frankly, I don't think you have it in you.

Almost forgot. Tell me, who defines when the above has happened? Oh, yes. That would be you, of course. How hilariously laughable.