(CC News) -- In a stunning development in international policing, the United States has just announced that it has the right to kidnap citizens of other nations:
AMERICA has told Britain that it can “kidnap” British citizens if they are wanted for crimes in the United States.
A senior lawyer for the American government has told the Court of Appeal in London that kidnapping foreign citizens is permissible under American law because the US Supreme Court has sanctioned it.
When pressed in the House of Commons on whether this newfound American legal power extended to Canadian citizens as well, Canada's Minister of Justice and Attorney General Rob Nicholson replied, "Um ... I don't know if they can do that. Can they do that? Maybe you should ask someone with the authority to make that decision. What's that? Me? No way, not me! Really? Neat!"
Nicholson promised he would get back to the questioner with a reply as soon as possible, then sat down and turned to Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day, saying, "Did you hear that? I get to make the decision! That is so cool! Oh, man, is this the greatest job in the world or what?"
In unrelated news, several MPs who were just about to vote in the "Stupidest Fucking MP in all of Canada" contest were seen tearing up their ballots and hastily scribbling new ones.