Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Your September Iraqi wankeritude.


Given the Canadian wankersphere's unseemly talent for celebration whenever good news comes out of Iraq, you might as well steel yourself for the inevitable high-fiving next month:

Top general may propose pullbacks

Petraeus is expected to tell Congress that Iraqis can assume duties in some areas, freeing U.S. troops for other uses.

Intent on demonstrating progress in Iraq, the top U.S. general there is expected by Bush administration officials to recommend removing American troops soon from several areas where commanders believe security has improved, possibly including Al Anbar province.

According to the officials, Gen. David H. Petraeus is expected to propose the partial pullback in his September status report to Congress, when both the war's critics and supporters plan to reassess its course. Administration officials who support the current troop levels hope Petraeus' recommendations will persuade Congress to reject pressure for a major U.S. withdrawal.

But amidst all the cheery glad-handing, one wonders whether any of those aforementioned wanks will see fit to mention this (buried near the bottom of page 2):

Despite Bush's repeated statements that the report will reflect evaluations by Petraeus and Ryan Crocker, the U.S. ambassador to Iraq, administration officials said it would actually be written by the White House, with inputs from officials throughout the government.

And though Petraeus and Crocker will present their recommendations on Capitol Hill, legislation passed by Congress leaves it to the president to decide how to interpret the report's data.

Yeah, the devil is always in the details, isn't he?

8 comments:

The Seer said...

Wring! The devil is in the white House.

Chet Scoville said...

Oooh, let me guess! It'll say that the surge is an INCREDIBLE SUCCESS!!! *flags, fireworks, streamers* And the American media will buy it.

Iraq 4evah!

Ti-Guy said...

Maybe the other uses are invading Iran. I read in the G&M that the Pentagon is "re-branding" the Revolutionary Guard "terrorists" and therefore preparing a legalistic case for Iran as a state-sponsor of terrorism...a really bad one too, since there are millions in the Guard.

...On to Tehran, muthahfuckahs!

The Seer said...

You want American troops out of Iraq, right? The road out of Bagdad leads through Tehran.

Ti-Guy said...

I don't want American troops out of Iraq. I want them to stay until the Empire has squandered every last penny. Of course, attacking Iran would speed up that process even more, so maybe I should start supporting it.

Dilemas, dilemas...

The Seer said...

Ti-guy paleeze! We are not squandering American pennies. The Chinese are financing this war. (That's how you un a war while lowering taxes.) (Of course, unless we belly up like Argentina, some day or another, we're going to have to pay China back — but with dollars that are worth less than the loony.) (If I were like you, dependent for your well-being on NAFTA, I would be worried.)

Ti-Guy said...

Me being worried or not is not going to alter the inevitable...

I'm planning on moving back up North and living off the fat-o'-the land...blueberries and beaver meat. I'd like to say I'll miss the benefits of prosperity, but when I look around...well, I don't think I'll be missing much.

M@ said...

I don't understand why you're all so pessimistic. According to every press release from the White House since March 2003, the US is making great progress in Iraq, is about to turn a real corner there, and only needs oh say six months or so before the Iraqis Stand Up.

I'll take that high-five now, CC!