Sunday, November 05, 2006

Premature eJankulation: It's contagious.

Apparently, the unfortunate condition of premature eJankulation can be spread by exchange of bodily fluids or, in a shocking new development, by sharing the same group blog, as you can see here where, over at the "He-Man Woman Hater's Club," Spanky gets a little ahead of himself.

In asking who might be more credible in a pissing contest between hot-shot, man of God Ted Haggard and male hooker Mike Jones, Spanky writes:

The answer is obvious. Who between a gay prostitute and an evangelical pastor has more credibility? Well of course the hooker. We are, after all, talking about the mainstream media here.

Ignore, of course, that Haggard first denied even knowing Jones but eventually admitted that, yes, well, OK, he knew him but, hey, it was only a massage from someone that just happened to be a gay hooker, but he never had anything to do with drugs ... well, OK, there was that one time where he bought meth but he never used it, he threw it away, honest to God.

Gosh, Spanky ... that hooker's looking more credible all the time, isn't he?

P.S. Maybe it's just me, but I'm immensely amused by this sentence:

[Haggard] said he did get a massage from Jones after being referred to him by a Denver hotel.

I would dearly love to know what hotel, when asked for a recommendation for a good masseur by a prominent evangelical pastor, would have pointed said pastor in the direction of a male prostitute. Seriously, I want some member of the media to track down the hotel in question and ask that concierge what the fuck he was thinking at the time.

Yes, I'm sure most of you will be satisfied with simply watching the complete moral destruction of a hypocritical, Bible-thumping whackjob. I just want to make sure no possible source of tail-wagging entertainment gets overlooked.


Alison said...

Can't remember which news source I read this on, but apparently Jones denies the hotel referral angle and says they met through an ad.

If true, you can see why Haggard would prefer his own version. I mean, you might be staying in a hotel and feel like getting a massage and yada yada yada.
But sitting in a hotel room perusing the gays ads and choosing one and making the phone call?
Way more deliberately premeditated.

Zorpheous said...

you're such an asshole CC, I love it, you my hero

Ti-Guy said...

When are most conservatives going to stop trying to rationalise each and every misstep by one of their heros by implying, in the absence of any fact whatsoever, that whoever is accusing the misdeed is a liar? And even then, it wouldn't be so bad if every once in a while, they'd admit that they were wrong.

I guess the answer to that is that they are simply propagandists...they don't actually communicate any knowledge about the real world...they're just there to support whatever fable will further their own ambitions, and even serial shaming and embarrassment won't stop them.

How simply immoral. And God Almighty, I'm getting tired of bitching about it. I really want to start holding Inquisitions.