Sunday, November 05, 2006

Hang on ... that sounds vaguely familiar ...


Via The Wingnuterer, we have the following delightfully entertaining sleaze (all emphasis added):

Less than 24 hours after he was fired from the pulpit of the evangelical megachurch he founded, the Rev. Ted Haggard confessed to his followers Sunday that he was guilty of sexual immorality.

"Sexual immorality?" What exactly does that mean? Haggard has been adamant that he never had actual "sex," so what precisely is he now admitting to? Reading further doesn't help much:

"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality."

Well, yeah, we've established that, but we need details, damn it!

In his letter, Haggard said "the accusations made against me are not all true but enough of them are that I was appropriately removed from his church leadership position."

He did not give details on which accusations were true.

In other words (and you just knew this was coming), "I did not have 'sexual relations' with that man-whore, Mr. Jones."

I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the wankersphere cranks itself into full howl, demanding a complete accounting. Can a semen-stained dress shirt be far behind?

UH OH ... THINGS JUST GOT MORE INTERESTING: If you check out this post over at Crooks and Liars, you can see a screenshot from CNN in which whore-loving, drug addict Ted Haggard is now confessing to a "lifelong" sexual problem.

I'm sorry ... "lifelong?" That's not just a one-time "Hey, I thought he was a real masseur, honest!". That's not just a "Well, he was giving me a rubdown, I was getting seriously relaxed and, well, one thing led to another and I ended up with his cock in my mouth. It happens, you know."

No, I'm now guessing that Ted has known his share of young studs in his time. And by "known," I mean in the purely Biblical sense, of course.

P.S. Hey, Spanky! How's that credibility thing looking?

2 comments:

Zorpheous said...

How fast is your tail wagging right now CC?

Anonymous said...

semen stained dress shirt? the next thing i knew i had a cock in my mouth?

Haaaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa!!
Good one sweetie.