Friday, September 08, 2006

Somewhere, Lionel Chetwynd is breathing a sigh of relief.


Back in 2003, you figured you had a consensus for the worst movie ever made:

"DC 9/11: Time of Crisis" has come under fire because its writer and producer is Lionel Chetwynd, a friend and supporter of President Bush and one of Hollywood's few outwardly politically conservative filmmakers. That alone, however, should not be the lightning rod of criticism for this film...

No, the real reason "DC 9/11" should be taken to task is that the movie is terrible. It's uncommonly bad, a film so stiff and unwilling to breathe that when it overreaches for drama -- as it does every couple of minutes -- it nearly snaps in half. There's no blood in this lifeless dud, and the ridiculous re-creation of Bush as, well, as Rudy Giuliani, is so oafishly stylized that the president himself should dismiss the film as a ploy by the Democrats to make him look stupid.

But then along comes this gobbler:

I once sat in a car forever waiting for my mom to come out of a grocery store. I thought that was the definition of "interminable." I had no idea "The Path to 9/11" was in my future.

This is what happens during 4 1/2 lonnnng hours of "Path." Terrorists talk about killing Americans for Allah. FBI and other security officials try to track them but fail. 9/11 happens.

You don't say.

This is the most anticlimactic, tension-free movie in the history of terrorist TV.

Yes, it's the new worst movie ever made. Well, that or "Showgirls." It's a tough call.

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