Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The hoisting and petarding of Damian Penny.
Once upon a time, a group of neo-cons with visions of global imperialism (or "NAMBLA") insisted on invading Iraq because Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction. They didn't just think he had them -- they knew, oh yes, there was absolutely no doubt. And he was getting yellowcake from Niger, too. I mean, if that don't just beat all.
So the neo-cons invaded and ... well, funny story ... no WMDs. Anywhere. Hmmmph. Bummer. But not to worry. See, even if normal people with a moderately-developed sense of shame might feel a bit embarrassed about that kind of clusterfuck, well, not these neo-cons or their supporters.
"Be patient," they said. "We're still looking and, by God, when we find them, well, then you're going to look silly, aren't you? You bet you will, yes sir, you'll be eating some serious crow then, damn straight." The lesson here was, as you can see -- you can't rush these things. When you make a spectacular, unambiguous claim with global consequences that results in the deaths of some 2,500 Americans, some tens of thousands of Iraqis, costs hundreds of billions of dollars and threatens to destabilize the entire Middle East, well, it might take a while to see if those original claims actually pan out so everyone can just sit tight and we'll get back to you. Feel free to check back next year, we'll let you know if anything's turned up.
Of course, it's different when someone claims that a weaselly, unprincipled little fuck that's been under investigation for two years has actually and finally been indicted by a grand jury because, if you can't back up that kind of shit now -- and I mean right fucking now, this goddamned instant -- then you're just a hypocritical hack. And no, you don't get a week or two to see how it might play out, what the fuck do you think this is, some kind of motherfucking charity, fer Chrissake!? And we want that Karl Rove apology and retraction this instant, you asshole motherfuckers! I mean, right now, do you hear me!?!?
And no, we don't want to talk about WMDs. Fuck off.