All right, let's first dispense with the obvious idiocy of the following:
Director posits proof of biblical Exodus
A provocative $4-million documentary by Toronto filmmaker Simcha Jacobovici claims to have found archeological evidence verifying the story of the biblical Exodus from Egypt, 3,500 years ago.
I will not dignify that silliness with a response simply because there's something far more curious deep in the bowels of that article (emphasis added):
Dating the Exodus to roughly 1,500 BC, the two-hour film presented and executive-produced by Hollywood director James Cameron and airing Easter Sunday on Discovery Canada — suggests that the great Santorini volcano caused the Ten Plagues that the Bible says were visited upon the Egyptians and which finally persuaded the pharaoh of the day.
The Greek island of Santorini lies only 700 kilometres north of Egypt. When it erupted, it sent smoke and ash 37 kilometres into the sky. Mr. Jacobovici contends that volcanology and geology can explain not only the first plague — that Egypt's waters were turned blood-red through the release of toxic gas, similar to what happened at Lake Nios in Cameroon in 1986; but they also can explain the succeeding nine plagues — frogs, fleas, flies, livestock deaths, boils, hailstorms, locusts, darkness and the death of the Egyptian firstborn males.
The film contends that the tsunami unleashed by the Santorini upheaval can also account for why the Israelites were able to cross the parting sea ahead of the pharaoh's army and why the Egyptians were subsequently engulfed. But Mr. Jacobovici says the sea Moses crossed was not the Red Sea, as is traditionally thought, but a smaller lake, known in Egypt as the Reed Sea. Its Egyptian name, translated into Hebrew, means "the place where God swallowed up."
Excuse me, but when exactly did the devout start looking for naturalistic explanations for alleged miracles? I've read the Bible, and all of those plagues were most emphatically due to divine intervention, so where does Jacobovici get off proposing convenient volcanoes and tsunamis?
If the Christian wingnuthood wants to believe in the ridiculous fairy tale that is Exodus, fine. Go wild. Have a ball. But at least have the fucking pride to still insist that it's the work of your favourite supernatural deity, and don't go looking to science and nature for validation.
That's just so ... so ... secular.