Sunday, January 08, 2006

"Traditional" marriage? Do you REALLY want to go there?

Cathie writes about right-wing nutbar Elsie Wayne, who is yammering on about wanting to get back to the days of "traditional marriage" -- you know, when everyone had their own home with a white picket fence, and darkies knew their place at the back of the bus and everything.

But if Wayne really wants "traditional marriage," I say we give it to her, straight out of the Bible. Where to even start? I know -- how about what happens when one commits adultery?

Leviticus 20:10 If a man commits adultery with another man's wife—with the wife of his neighbor—both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

Ouch. That's going to put a real crimp in extra-marital affairs but, hey, it's definitely as "traditional" as it gets, isn't it?

So ... one just has to avoid committing adultery. That can't be that hard, right? Oh oh ...

Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.

Whoa. That's gotta hurt. None of that trophy wife bullshit any more, I'm thinking. But, still, the rules seem pretty clear-cut. Oh, crap ...

Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Dude, I'm a guy. Lust kind of goes with the territory. Sheesh. And let's not even start on the subject of mixed marriages:

II Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

I can't wait to see all of this as part of the CPC "family values" platform. Go, Elsie, go.


Anonymous said...

To help illustrate your bible passages I'd suggest directing your readers to the following helpful site.

PR said...

What does The Bible have to do with tradition? When I look for traditional practices, I don't go to the ancient Jewish text of Leviticus. I guess that's how you and I differ.

M@ said...

Cool, Pete! Let's pick and choose our favourite bits of the bible, then.

Personally, I only go to the ancient Jewish text of Leviticus. And I'm preparing yet another Red Lobster picket as I type this.

Funny how slippery this slope gets. I'm guessing you're a big fan of the epistles of Paul, though. Just spitballin', there.

Anonymous said...

CC, anonymous #1, and m@ obviously don't have a clue about what Jesus' work on Earth meant in regards to the Levitical laws. Ignorant bigots are often like that.

M@ said...

Anon, you base your conduct on a self-selected set of rules written down by a society who didn't understand the mechanics of rainfall. How does that make everyone who disagrees with you a bigot?

It does, however, provide ample evidence that you're a moron, though. Thanks for that.