(Oops. According to my commenter, the U.S. already offers citizenship for military service, which makes most of this posting kind of redundant. Well, what the hell are you wankers waiting for, given the isle of earthly delights that is Iraq? At least, according to your descriptions.)
In the comments section back here, "the fly" snarkily refers to an article that suggests a good 20 per cent of Canadians support being annexed by the United States. And, oh, the fun we can have with that article.
Following that link to here, we first read that:
Should Canada become the 51st American state? Four out of 10 Americans answered "sure" in a recent poll conducted by Leger Marketing of Montreal.
Well, gee, and isn't that a shocking observation? Given that Americans are constantly looking north with wistful longing at our natural resources like oil, water and timber, I would think it's surprising that that figure isn't higher. But that's not the fun part.
On the question of annexation by the United States, 19.9 per cent of Canadians said at that time that they would be in favour, ...
which leads me to propose the following.
I suggest that the United States offer permanent and irrevocable American citizenship to any able-bodied person who agrees to sign up for American military service for, say, three years, which would involve being posted to wherever the U.S. decides to send them. The citizenship would be effective at the end of that three-year period -- if you bail early, all you get is a bus ticket home. As I see it, this program would solve a couple sizable problems.
First, this would instantly solve the U.S. military recruiting shortfall. Heck, Canada alone might fix it. If even a small fraction of that 20 per cent who want to be Americans decide to invest three years to get there, that would pretty much solve the recruiting shortfall for years to come.
And the second problem it would solve would be, if we were lucky, to get rid of all of those whiny conservatives who keep telling us how much they adore the U.S. and, in particular, George Bush, and who can't stop telling us how swimmingly the invasion of Iraq is going, what with democracy being on the march and everyone walking around with purple fingers and all.
You like America? You think things in Iraq are just peachy keen? Terrific. You could enlist and spend three years over there sucking back pina coladas or whatever it is you think they're doing, and you'd have your citizenship and we wouldn't have to listen to your infantile complaining any more. Hey, I got your first eight Bush-worshipping volunteers right here.
How about it? What will it take to jump start Operation Get the Fuck Out of Here Already? Is there a web page?