(Oops. According to my commenter, the U.S. already offers citizenship for military service, which makes most of this posting kind of redundant. Well, what the hell are you wankers waiting for, given the isle of earthly delights that is Iraq? At least, according to your descriptions.)
In the comments section back here, "the fly" snarkily refers to an article that suggests a good 20 per cent of Canadians support being annexed by the United States. And, oh, the fun we can have with that article.
Following that link to here, we first read that:
Should Canada become the 51st American state? Four out of 10 Americans answered "sure" in a recent poll conducted by Leger Marketing of Montreal.
Well, gee, and isn't that a shocking observation? Given that Americans are constantly looking north with wistful longing at our natural resources like oil, water and timber, I would think it's surprising that that figure isn't higher. But that's not the fun part.
On the question of annexation by the United States, 19.9 per cent of Canadians said at that time that they would be in favour, ...
which leads me to propose the following.
I suggest that the United States offer permanent and irrevocable American citizenship to any able-bodied person who agrees to sign up for American military service for, say, three years, which would involve being posted to wherever the U.S. decides to send them. The citizenship would be effective at the end of that three-year period -- if you bail early, all you get is a bus ticket home. As I see it, this program would solve a couple sizable problems.
First, this would instantly solve the U.S. military recruiting shortfall. Heck, Canada alone might fix it. If even a small fraction of that 20 per cent who want to be Americans decide to invest three years to get there, that would pretty much solve the recruiting shortfall for years to come.
And the second problem it would solve would be, if we were lucky, to get rid of all of those whiny conservatives who keep telling us how much they adore the U.S. and, in particular, George Bush, and who can't stop telling us how swimmingly the invasion of Iraq is going, what with democracy being on the march and everyone walking around with purple fingers and all.
You like America? You think things in Iraq are just peachy keen? Terrific. You could enlist and spend three years over there sucking back pina coladas or whatever it is you think they're doing, and you'd have your citizenship and we wouldn't have to listen to your infantile complaining any more. Hey, I got your first eight Bush-worshipping volunteers right here.
How about it? What will it take to jump start Operation Get the Fuck Out of Here Already? Is there a web page?
3 comments:
Well, the Excited States already does offer citizenship in exchange for military service.
Strangely, 1 out of 5 Canadians aren't signing up.
After annexation, maybe we can just reinstate the draft in the "51st State".
"Americans are constantly looking north with wistful longing"
Sounds like a familiar story line. Let me give it a try...
No one would have believed, in the last years of the nineteenth century, that Canadian affairs were being watched from the timeless void of cyberspace.
No one could have dreamed that Canadians were being scrutinized, perhaps as narrowly as a scientist might study the millions of transient, microscopic creatures swarming and multiplying in a single drop of water.
And yet American minds immeasurably superior to yours, regard Canada's pristine artic wasteland with envious eyes, constantly looking north, with wistful longing, slowly, and snarkily, drawing their plans...
I like your idea about setting up a webpage for "Operation Get the (censored) Out of Here Already". "Getting out" maybe a more popular idea than you think.
I tackle this issues in the Fly's lumber yard.
The States tried making a grab for Canada once before a century or two ago, and failed. History is on our side regarding this. The fact that George W. Bush admittedly doesn't read history works all the more in our favor. And with their military stretched to the breaking point already, I'm sure we could repell the U.S. with rude hand gestures and colorful language.
Hey, CC, are you serious? Are there conservative Canadians actually in support of George W. Bush? -- spiritually, psychologically, if not by actual ballot (not that that means anything in States anymore). Well, I guess there are people in this world who also drink their own urine and worship Satan.
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