- The United States invaded Iraq because Saddam Hussein clearly had "weapons of mass destruction", and the fact that no one has ever been able to find them just proves how tricky and devious Saddam really was.
- Things are going well in Iraq, and the increasing death toll of Coalition forces simply shows that the insurgents are getting more "desperate" and are in their "last throes".
- War is a messy and unpleasant business that can result in the injury or death of other peoples' loved ones, but that's a chance you and your fighting keyboard are willing to take.
- (For men only.) It's absolutely unconscionable that former president Bill Clinton lied to the American public about a blowjob since nothing is more damaging to the health and well-being of the Republic than someone getting what you've only ever dreamed about.
- In the interests of academic fairness, it's only fair that public schools now begin to teach "Intelligent Design", to give students an alternative to actual science.
- While it was entirely appropriate to spend tens of millions of dollars to dig into every corner of BIll and Hillary Clinton's life to impeach him, it's absolutely outrageous that Democrats in the Senate are demanding documents regarding Supreme Court nominee John Roberts' legal opinions so they can figure out what he thinks, legally speaking.
- It's important to introduce legislation to ban same-sex marriage since it represents a clear threat to the dignity and sanctity of your current marriage. Or perhaps one of your previous ones.
- Given that the main goal of the homicidal, Islamofascist terrorists is to deprive Americans of their precious freedoms, the most important thing Americans can do to help in the War on Terror is to renew the Patriot Act, which involves Americans giving up most of their precious freedoms voluntarily. That'll show those terrorists who's in charge.
- It's vitally important to re-introduce Christian prayer back into the public school system, so America can return to those earlier, happier times when you could still have a bunch of fun with a tree, a rope and a random black person.
For each statement you agree with, give yourself a point and calculate the total. If you scored exactly zero, then you have a strong propensity for liberal, left-wing thinking, probably combined with an environmental streak and a longing for social justice.
If your score is one or higher, you are so reading the wrong blog and should instead be out spray-painting a rebel flag on the back of your pickup truck and checking the movie listings for the next showing of "The Dukes of Hazzard." Yee ha.