Sunday, August 07, 2005

Ah ... it's that "Bush" thing that makes all the difference, is it?


(CC News, Oct 17, 2002) In a chilling demonstration that President George W. Bush's "War on Drugs" would play no favourites, Noelle Bush, the daughter of Florida governor Jeb Bush and niece of the president, was sentenced to 10 days in jail for being found in possession of crack cocaine while she was already in a drug rehab center for previous drug-related offenses.

A visibly angry Jeb, who had already publicly accused drug users of aiding terrorists, leveled stinging criticism at his daughter, fuming:

"Every parent of a child with an addiction understands that the long road to recovery is never easy and that there are numerous challenges along the way.

"This is a very difficult time for all of us ... and I pray every day our beautiful daughter will once again know a life free from the horrors of substance abuse."

Judge Reginald Whitehead was similarly furious and unforgiving of the multiple offender, lashing out at her from the bench with, "You should be disappointed that you let yourself down."

Even the president was quick to emphasize that no one in the legal system was playing favourites. "Well," said George Bush, "I think it sends a clear and disambiguous message that no one is aboard the law here. Even though she's my niece, she's going to jail for 10 days. That's a lot more than just a week, right?"

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did he actually say, "No one is aboard the law"? What does that even mean?

Anonymous said...

Disambigous? WTF?

And I bet those without the last name Bush get more than ten days in jail.

CC said...

(Sigh) ... don't make me stop this car, come back there and start labelling satire.

Anonymous said...

I took it at face value myself. I think that says more about the state of things than the gullibility of your readership, these days. :(